Farewell
by MaraudersAtHeart
Summary: Teddy has joined the Muggle army and it is time for the family to say their farewells. James avoids doing it until the very last moment. Soon it becomes apparent that he's madly in love with the older boy and he's devastated about his departure. A series of one-shots throughout the years: Teddy/James. [SLASH]
1. Jan 12th, 2023

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the universe of Harry Potter or the characters within it. All rights to JK Rowling. No copyright intended. No profit is being made from this.

 **Rating:** T

 **Word Count:** 3054 words (not including the notes)

 **Summary:** Teddy has joined the Muggle army and it is time for the family to say their farewells. James avoids doing it until the very last moment. Soon it becomes apparent that he's madly in love with the older boy and he's devastated about his departure. A series of one-shots throughout the years: Teddy/James.

 **Waring/s:** Mentions of 'sex': nothing big really. Nothing graphic. Simply the word is written but it has not gone into detail.

 **Ship/s:** Teddy/James, (in association to Teddy/Victoire): Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Bill/Fleur, etc. All cannon pairings for the Golden Trio is present.

 **Beta:** I thought I'd give my Beta reader a break and just upload something that holds all my own mistakes. I am proud of them, for this story in particular. I have grown as a writer, and as a person, and I hope this piece can show that in some way.

 **Author's Note:** They always say: " _It's easier to write when it's all you feel_ ". Please drop a review if you can! Those give me life! Thank you for choosing for read my story.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

 **~ MaraudersAtHeart ~**

* * *

 **Farewell**

 **January 12** **th** **, 2023**

James Sirius Potter had known that Teddy Remus Lupin was joining the army for a good six years before it had actually happened. He had known that Teddy was thinking about it for a majority of their friendship. He had also known that Teddy hadn't made any final decisions until James had hit thirteen. Teddy had been nineteen at the time, but he had certain obligations he had to see to before actually joining the army.

The family thought that Teddy would marry Victoire and at least start a family before he would be off. James knew the truth though. He knew that Teddy and Victoire had ended things earlier this year due to a mutual agreement that feelings just weren't there and that they had never really been there to begin with. Expectations of those around them had clouded their judgements and their own feelings about things.

The news of their break-up had not reached the family yet, but it would soon enough. The pair had decided that the only reason they had even gotten engaged, or even dated, was because the whole family had expected it. There was little room for their individual opinions among the rest of their families'.

It was not even a year ago that Teddy had learned that he did not even like girls, but he only shared that information with James, too afraid of everybody's reactions. James had thought Teddy to be stupid, for having been engaged to his cousin for several years before realising the true reason they had not tied the knot was because the groom didn't fancy his bride all that much. James didn't blame him; Victoire Weasley was high-maintenance and rather hard to live with.

But the girl was part-veela. She was born to be one of the most beautiful girls around. James didn't fancy his cousin, of course. He felt sorry for her, rather. The reason their partnership had worked so well was because Teddy's werewolf genes counteracted Victoire's veela genes. Her powers were ineffective on the boy.

The truth is, James knew their relationship wasn't going to work from the moment they got engaged. It was clear. There were countless signs that suggested they had separate lives and had no intentions of joining the two together. Their separate flats, for one, were a warning bell to the younger boy. Then from separate flats it became separate timetables that hardly left time for the other. They also never seemed too couple-y when they had visited the Burrow.

It was also alarming that they had gotten engaged after dating for merely a year – and that wasn't even the flashing red light. James called that the amber light, just like the Muggle traffic lights. It could mean either 'wait' or 'slow down' which is essentially the same thing.

The red flashing light had been that Teddy had not consulted James on it to begin with because once upon a time Teddy had told that boy everything. James had felt out of the loop for the first time ever in their friendship. They were supposed to tell each other everything. James had no idea what happened to that. Teddy had made a life-changing decision on a whim without consulting anybody at all. The idea of it had been ridiculous and had scared James.

How much thought had Teddy really put into that engagement, James had pondered when the 'perfect couple' had shared the news to the whole family. They had all expected that James had helped Teddy so they all 'thanked him for supporting his best friend'. James shrugged and told them 'not to mention' because he had no part in it at all. He wasn't proud of his best friend. He had felt a sinking feeling in his chest that suggested something dark. James never did figure out what the feeling was.

They had been best friends since James was four and the other had been ten. They were inseparable from the moment James could finally walk and play too. There had never been a time when that feeling was present. James couldn't describe it or name it for the life of him.

Victoire had only been eighteen when Teddy had asked her to marry him. Their family had thought they were rather young but knew that Teddy would wait a few more years before actually tying the knot.

A year or two, tops, perhaps.

James' considered Victoire's lack of reaction a clear indication she had not entirely expected the proposal and didn't fully want it either. James had found that peculiar but even more so when their engagement had passed the two-year waiting mark.

It had reached the six-year mark. Another alarming bell went off to James on that day. He knew their engagement wasn't going anywhere. Teddy had been sad for the majority of it. He didn't seem like himself. He had been distant to a lot of people.

When he had decided to go to the army and made that final decision that it was definitely happening, James was sure he would change his mind once he married Victoire.

But as the wedding got pushed back on the back burner, the army seemed more appealing every day. Teddy felt lost in his identity by the fifth year mark and had gotten drunk once with James. The night was a massive blur. James didn't remember it, but he remembered one thing: Teddy had left earlier than him, but he had not come back to the flat he shared with James.

They had moved in together after James had graduated. They had lived together a year by this point and it was the first night Teddy hadn't come home without telling James where he was. James awoke the next morning worried about him. His bed was made, as if untouched all night.

By noon, the blue-haired boy had come in slamming the door behind him. He was in search of another alcoholic beverage. He shouted for James, asking where they kept all their alcohol.

James had come in, telling him that they had finished it all hence the idea to get more the night before. That was how they had ended up in a muggle bar on the other side of London.

Teddy had turned around, attempting to wear that angry look but upon seeing James, his face only bore guilt.

James knew, he just didn't fully understand the extent of Teddy's action. James frowned, feeling bad for his best friend. It wasn't even that much longer that Teddy had come out to him, saying that he had made the actions of that night a regular occurrence.

James only had one question: "But what about Vic?"

Teddy had reassured him that Victoire had been cheating on him for the last year anyway. Between her spontaneous trips to France, she had somehow acquired her own lover of sorts. Teddy knew it was his fault because he had never wanted to sleep with her. He always used the marriage card but deep down, the two both knew that marriage would never go ahead.

Sure enough, a year followed, and their break-up had become official. James couldn't say he was surprised. He knew they would never make it as a couple from the get-go. Teddy spent more time with James than his own fiancée. His actions spoke louder than his so-called 'words'.

The real issue wasn't their failed relationship though, no, it was that James thought after six years and Teddy's twenty-fifth birthday recently rolling around that the idea of the army had been scrapped.

James had thought terribly wrong.

Their break-up had finally given Teddy the push he needed to finally do it. He went and signed up and it was all ready. He had passed the muggle general knowledge test and he had received rather high results. He could do any job in the army he set his heart to. He had options, and James was proud of him for that but that didn't mean that sinking feeling that was present six years ago, hadn't come back.

Teddy had passed even the fitness test and he was to leave in two months. He had shared the news with the family, hoping that on the day he left, Victoire could share their other news while Teddy was away. He planned to be away for a while, long enough for Victoire to 'move on' in the eyes of the family. Enough for her to start a family and that their relationship would be old news by far.

Also, just enough time for even he to be 'old news'.

Teddy planned to be gone for a long time, and even told James he would miss a few Christmases (that was the only leave a solider got without having to ask for a formal, extended one). James had hardly heard it as he slipped into his own world.

During family dinners, James hardly ate or spoke. He would say that he wasn't very hungry and after a few minutes, he would excuse himself to go up to his old room. He was avoiding his own flat because he knew Teddy would be there. The Teddy that dared to betray him and leave him without so much as an explanation. Teddy was leaving him and for a long time at that. James was going to be alone once more but in a very different way.

Plans had been made six years ago. James would convince him to stay and have children with Victoire shortly after they married. There would be little time for the army between all the kids James planned for them. He would suggest the 'four in four' idea: Four kids in the span of four years. Teddy should've been twenty-five with four kids under the age of five.

For even good measure, James had named the kids: Remus Lupin II (would be age four), Lyall Lupin II (age three), Hope Lupin (age two) and John Lupin. James knew that the idea was rather stupid, and he doubted that Teddy would name his kids after his grandfather – who was an exceptionally horrid man – or after the mother that was absent.

James often scratched the names and tried new ones, but nothing ever felt right. The idea of them being half Teddy and half Vic had always made him queasy. He suspected it was because she was his cousin and he had to be a little protective. He was the oldest male cousin, after all.

Sometimes his ideas would even reach the cruel side: Teddy could always lose a limb. The army didn't want people without arms. But after the thought would cross his mind, James would forget it because it would cause a dull ache in his chest. There was a possibility he'd lose it during his time in the army.

James had all these dumb ideas because he was _desperate_ for Teddy to stay. He just needed the boy to not leave him. There wasn't anybody else that James had felt as close to. Teddy was the sole person he confided in. James had failed to tell him the most important thing: He was not alone because Teddy, too, had realised he was gay. He was afraid of what the world would say as well.

How would they react, James had pondered for years. He had never told Teddy, but he had a chance the night Teddy had come out to him, but he felt like it just wasn't the right time. He felt like Teddy needed his moment alone, to sort stuff out and to have his own meltdown. He didn't need James stealing the show. He wished he had said something because now it was too late.

James would have to come out sooner or later and by then, he would have nobody to lean on. He would have to face the world and all the newspapers by himself. He would have to shame his father on his own. He doubted his dad would get very mad other than being upset James never spoke up, but he had a feeling his mum would be madder. She had always sided with Uncle Ron on these kinds of issues. Hence the reason Teddy had never spoken about his sexuality to anybody other than James.

Somehow, he knew James would understand and James wished he could speak up because only Teddy understood what he was feeling inside.

Shame sat upon his head every time he sat down at the Burrows to eat. His face was directed at his food and he hardly ate or spoke. On this particular occasion, the table had followed suit. Conversations were non-existent. Nobody was there to pick on James' silence or try to understand it. He was nineteen, an adult, and he could do what he wanted. He'd spent so much time fighting his mother on 'babying him'. He should've spent more time asking her how she had felt when Harry had been away during the war.

If anybody would be able to identify this feeling in his chest, his money was on Ginny Potter.

The sound of Teddy Lupin's words as departure broke him out of his stupor. He looked up as the older boy turned and left. He left nothing more than a 'thank you' and a 'I'll miss you all'. He didn't even utter a single 'I love you'. James knew it would be too hard for him to lock eyes with anyone on his way out.

James' whole body argued with his lack of movement. They protested internally, screaming for him to do _anything_. He could stand up and shout. He can run after him. He could _stop him,_ but James didn't. He sat quietly. James finally began to eat properly after two weeks. The family didn't question the sudden change of behaviour. They, on the other hand, no longer had an appetite.

Silence surrounded them. The only two people who were eating happened to be Ron Weasley and his nephew, James. Even Hugo knew better than to stuff his face on this occasion.

Teddy Lupin would be missed.

Suddenly, as if the sound of a _pop_ made all the difference, James was up and out of his seat. He had to move _quickly_ if he were to stop his best friend from leaving him.

Things were different now. It wasn't six years ago. This was the real world. Happy endings didn't fall out of the sky, written like a perfect novel for you. They were in one place, waiting for you to go out and find them: _claim_ them as yours.

This was 2023.

This was the year – the exact _day_ \- Teddy Lupin would finally leave for the army. This was the start of a Teddyless life: A life without his jokes or his laughs. This would be an end to their pranking careers. A day even the happiest of families couldn't crack a smile. The very day Hugo Weasley had to slap his father's hand, to tell him that it wasn't time to eat.

The very first Christmas where a letter in the family photo would be missing and an Easter with one less eye searching for eggs. A thanksgiving with one chair missing and one less thanks shared around. More leftovers would be left over than ever before: Seasonal holidays would never be the same.

The only person, who made those dumb holidays all right, was the one who wasn't going to attend anymore.

This was the one person who made bad days into good days, who James could never have an awkward silence with and could never be mad at for long. The only person James had ever confided in about the issues that really plagued him.

Teddy was one-of-a-kind and always knew how to make things better.

He was James' lucky charm.

He was James' saviour in most ways.

He was James' answer to all the unanswered questions.

He was James' 'one in a million'.

Teddy was James' best friend and soul mate.

James' last warning bell had hit.

And with a _pop_ of his own, James was off to tell those three words Teddy had never heard before: words that actually held the meaning they were made for. James was going to mean it when he said it, the way he hadn't back in Fifth Year when he told _Simona Huckleberry_ that they'd be together 'forever'.

This time his ' _I love you_ ' was going to be for real and it would speak volumes. The volumes that could move the waves Teddy's departing boat floated on.

As soon as he appeared on the dock, he ran like his life depended on it. He felt the wind in his hair and he had never felt so _free_. He was finally doing something for himself, just like Teddy. He wasn't following rules anymore. He was doing what he wanted _when_ he wanted those things.

Unfortunately, he got to the end of the dock by the time the Navy boat had already begun sailing away.

James stopped, his heart breaking in his chest as his eyes watched the boat sail off into the distance. He was puffed out, breathing rather heavily. He knew running down the length of the dock was rather dramatic as he could've easily _pop-_ ed up right here, but it would've risked the exposure of their kind. Sometimes things were just a little bigger than them.

" _I love you_ ," James whispered, mocking himself in a way. A teardrop trailed down the length of his cheek. His brown eyes began to turn red. He had missed his chance to tell Teddy how he felt. He had missed the chance to stop him from leaving.

Devastation was one of the many feelings that swirled inside his chest, alongside self-loath. He hated himself for not reacting sooner, to not having stopped him _months_ ago before it was even finalised.

All in all, the outcome of this was all James' fault and he couldn't blame anybody else but himself.

Teddy wasn't coming back and James ought to live with the consequences of that.

James turned around, wiping away his tears as he slowly walked back to land, waiting for a safe moment to go back home where he belonged.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

This broke my heart even while writing it, but I guess sometimes there isn't always a happy ending. Real life situations don't come with happy endings. People leave all the time and people miss their opportunities to tell the other what they mean to them. This is nothing new. This has been happening for generations. Not everybody gets a happy ending and it's about time we all realise that. Writing needs to depict some kind of reality, at least some of the time.

It is 2016 and there are still people who join the army (for several reasons) and leave behind their partners, or their lack of partners. Very few make relationships work and the best thing is to keep those feelings hidden instead of leaving them out in the open. They make the one who signed up feel bad that they've left you behind.

I decided to write something I am currently struggling with. It's not my best piece of work but it now owns a place in my heart. I hope it can own one in yours as well or at least make yours understanding to issues (that are not more important than those of developing countries but) that still hurt people.

 **For reference:**

James is 19, Teddy is 25 and Victoire is 24. The couple's engagement lasted six years and their 'relationship' lasted all that of seven.

 **~ MaraudersAtHeart ~**


	2. December 24th, 2025

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the universe of Harry Potter, James Potter, Teddy Lupin or any other characters within it. All rights to JK Rowling. No copyright intended. No profit is being made from this.

 **Rating:** M

 **Warning/s:** mentions of 'sex'.

 **Word Count:** 3254 words

 **Reference:** James is 22, Teddy is 28.

 **Author's Note:** Here is the long awaited next one shot in the series! – El x

* * *

 **Farewell**

 **December 24** **th** **, 2025**

It had been three long years since Edward Lupin had departed for the army at twenty-five. There had been no letters received since he'd left. Everybody had hoped to hear something but as time went by, they'd all given up and moved on with their lives. Harry Potter missed his godson dearly, but he knew that he had to figure out his life on his own and so, he'd decided when Teddy was ready, he would write, and Harry would definitely write back.

The only person who hadn't moved on in the span of three years, was one James Potter. He'd gone home that day after attempting to confess his love on that dock. He apparated back to his flat that he shared with Teddy and he'd slept in Teddy's room for a month. He hardly ate or showered. He had skipped work that entire time. He missed the older boy greatly and he wished he could go back and not realise he was in love with him. If he wasn't in love, he wouldn't be so heartbroken.

He took the absent of Teddy's letters as a personal jab. He figured, out of all of the people in the family, Teddy would at least write to him. He never did. James had decided enough was enough and he'd moved in with Fred, deciding he couldn't bear to look at the flat he shared with his best friend any longer. Fred was happy to take him in, knowing he was just missing Teddy like everybody else. As time progressed, James had finally began eating again and showering too. Fred was glad that James was seeming to move on with his life. He never asked his cousin to leave but as it neared a year, James knew he had to get back on his feet.

The checks started coming about six months after Teddy had left. James was confused about the fact that rent was always paid on time even though James was no longer there. Teddy was still looking after him despite being miles away. The gesture should've been sweet, but it felt more like a stab in the gut to the younger boy. He wondered how Teddy had time to send off checks to pay the rent but no time to send him a letter. James, knowing that Teddy had to make sure their flat was in one piece to move back into one day, he never had the heart to sell the place. He simply moved his stuff out and into Fred's. He was hoping he'd get a job soon and find a different flat all on his own. He hated to burden his cousin with his miserable behaviour.

James had been a professional Quidditch player for the Chudley Canons. He had refused to play for the Holy Harpies and had chosen to prove he was a talented player despite his mother's skills. After Teddy had left, James stopped showing up to practice and he no longer attended the games. He was kicked off the team but he hardly cared. Harry had tried to get him his job back, but James had declared he no longer wanted it. He was done with Quidditch. He wasn't a child anymore. It wasn't until the start of 2025 did James decide he wouldn't mind being an Auror. He'd worked there nearly a year now and he loved it. He never spoke of Teddy and whenever someone asked, he'd pointedly ignore them. It had been three years and he was attempting to move on. He still couldn't bring himself to move on romantically, but baby steps were better than no steps at all.

Nobody in James' family had a true indication of how badly he had taken Teddy's absence. He'd kept it under wraps and he'd sworn Fred to secrecy. The moment he'd moved out, he could finally show just how miserable his life was. He was alone in a flat all by himself. Nobody could stuff food down his mouth if he didn't want it. He lived life on autopilot these days, only going to work and going home. He never hung out with anybody anymore. He declined every invitation for dinner with his parents and even the invitations for family gatherings at the Burrow. He couldn't bear to look at anybody's faces.

Especially not Victoire and her new fiancé's. She'd introduced him to the family two years ago and James had grumbled at the time, but he knew it wasn't entirely her fault. It was half Teddy's too. He blamed them both for the way things had turned out. He was becoming more cynical as the days went by. A year after Victoire had introduced, Raphael, they'd announced they were engaged. Everybody found it quick, but James knew the whole truth. They'd been together long before Teddy had ever left the picture. He kept the secret though for everybody's sake. It wasn't his place to rain on their stupid parade.

Today, James decided he would finally face his family and attend Christmas Eve dinner. He couldn't avoid his family forever and he knew that. He decided that they were his family and he had a right to spend time with them. Teddy wasn't really family, not anymore. He'd abandoned them all – he'd abandoned _James_.

The twenty-two year old had apparated to the Burrow in a stylish fashion. He wore black slacks and a white, button up, collar shirt. He walked into the house as if he'd never left. All eyes were on him the moment he'd entered the kitchen. His jet-black hair was long and tied back. His posture was rigid, and it appeared that the rule-breaking misfit was no longer present. He looked deathly thin and unhealthy as if he hardly ate at all. His lips looked as if they hadn't known a smile in a while. His glasses sat upon his nose in a crooked fashion and his eyes bore an emptiness that chilled his family to the core.

This was not the James Sirius Potter they knew and loved.

He had come and gone in the span of only one thousand and ninety five days.

"James," Ginny hesitantly spoke to her estranged son with a small look of horror. He didn't mirror the boy he did at nineteen. He'd taken a lengthy absence from the family and he had arrived for Christmas Eve dinner without notifying anybody. Nobody had expected him to come as he had never attended any of the other family gatherings. He'd never answered any of their letters either. He truly was separated from them. He may have worked at the ministry, but he never once took the time to greet any of his family members that worked there as well. He'd ignore them and do his job as if that's all he knew how to do anymore.

"We didn't know you'd be coming for dinner," Harry asked, quietly, to aid his wife and her apparent lack of words. "We are so glad you are here though," Molly gushed, as if no time had passed at all. She hurriedly fixed him a plate at the dining table as well. She looked very pleased to finally have one of her grandchildren back.

James snorted, "Of course I am here. It is a family occasion, is it not?" He asked, his eyes peering over at everybody. He seemed very out of character to everybody, but James knew that he couldn't keep living in the past. He had to move on. He had to grow up. He couldn't be a child forever. He'd thrown out all of his childish prank toys and he hardly ever looked at the Marauders Map anymore. Those trivial things were only constant reminders of the life he'd lived with Teddy, that he no longer lived these days.

He was twenty-three and he had finally learned how to grow up.

Teddy used to tell him all the time that if he didn't, life would bite him on the ass. He was right because his departure did just that to the younger boy.

"It is," Percy said, noticing the tension between everybody. "You're welcome any time, buddy," George said, smiling. He gestured for James to have a seat on the table with everybody. Fred smiled a wide smile, "Good to finally see you come around again," he said. James had missed Fred and the rest of the family, but he couldn't move passed what had happened. He had only contacted Fred in those three years and after he'd moved out, the contact had gotten less and less. He was glad the boy wasn't smothering him anymore. He knew he was only worried about him but that didn't change anything to him.

"Let's just eat," grumbled Ron, realising that James had no intention of explaining what had happened to him in that period of time.

"Sounds good to me," Hugo said, grinning. There was a beautiful brunette girl sitting beside him, who he had his arm around. She had amber eyes and a wide smile upon her lips. James vaguely wondered if Hugo had gotten himself a girlfriend while he was away. He was slightly proud of his younger cousin, he had scored a pretty bird and she seemed nice too. James would never admit to anyone that he always wondered if Hugo would ever find someone.

James took a seat beside Fred, looking over at everybody. Albus was sitting beside his best friend Scorpius Malfoy and they were chatting among themselves. They were extremely close, and James had gotten over it after a while. Malfoy wasn't extremely terrible. On the other side of Scorpius, sat his girlfriend, (and James' annoyingly favourite cousin), Rose Weasley. Beside them, sat Molly and Christopher Wood. They had just announced their engagement as well which only fuelled the hatred in James' heart. On the right of them sat Roxanne and Markus Leads. James bitterly regarded the way they were sitting. These boys used to be James' closest friends but as time progressed, he had lost contact with them as well. He'd cut himself off from everybody. He was too afraid to get close to anybody again.

Victoire was sitting next to Raphael and James wanted to glare daggers into them.

Everybody was happy, and James couldn't help but be bitter. Everyone got to be with the one they loved except him. It seemed as if they were mocking him. Tonight had been a mistake. He shouldn't have come at all. The only person who comforted him in times like this was Fred, who still loved being a bachelor. James figured they would be bachelors together forever. He still didn't have the heart to come out to anyone, especially not Fred. He believed nobody would accept him. Nobody would understand.

' _I wish Teddy was here,_ ' he vaguely wished but then squashed the thought all together. Teddy had betrayed him by leaving. He'd grown very bitter over time and he was sure that if Teddy ever showed his face again, James would kill him.

As if reading James' thoughts, there was another unannounced guest.

There was more shock and outburst than James had gotten.

He found himself bitter about that too.

"Teddy!"

Lily raced up to him and gave him a big hug. Teddy Lupin picked her up for a moment and span her. She was light for a twenty year old. James wished with all his might that Teddy's arms were around him instead of his younger sister.

"What are you doing here," Lily asked with excitement. "I've come home to see you all," Teddy said, winking at her. "I've missed you all dearly," he said, looking up at everyone. They all smiled back at him. Everybody was relieved to have him home except James.

"Glad to have you back, Ted," Harry said, patting his godson on the back. "We've missed you too," Ginny said, pulling him into a hug. He had felt like their son too. James hated that they saw Teddy as another son. He now definitely had no chance with the older boy at all. Even though he never really did.

"Let's eat, Teddy!" Hugo said, gesturing for him to take a seat.

The entire time dinner was taken place, James hadn't said a word at all.

As it neared time for presents, James decided to slip out. He wasn't really a part of this family anymore and he didn't want to intrude on the present giving time. Presents were for kids anymore. James definitely didn't want to see whether or not his parents had gotten him one too or not.

' _I'll go out the back door and nobody will even notice my absence,'_ James thought to himself as he walked out of the back door and took a look at the scenery before preparing himself to go home alone once more.

"James!"

The voice was all too familiar, and it really made James want to curl up in a ball. They were rehashing feelings and memories James had tried to squash for so long.

"Don't ignore me," Edward Lupin said with a sigh, staring on after his godbrother.

James turned around, pointedly looking up at the man he loved. He tried to stop his heart from fluttering, but he couldn't help it. Teddy looked even more handsome than ever before. Twenty-five looked good on him. His skin was tanner and his brown hair was in a short, buzz cut. His light brown eyes looked hopeful. He was dressed in camo pants and a plain, green singlet. He had a dog tag around his neck and a scar along the top of his left, shoulder blade. Teddy looked as if he'd seen things, things he couldn't come back from.

His godbrother _almost_ felt bad for him.

"What do you want, Lupin?" James asked in a chilling tone. Teddy flinched back for a moment, as if unsure of how James had turned into someone he hardly recognised. "I just wanted to catch up with you, like old times?" Teddy asked, once more, hoping for a more James-like answer.

"I'm pretty busy," James clipped, shrugging. "I have a lot of paper work due tomorrow," he added, as if to allow his lie to run smoothly across his tongue. He didn't want to let Teddy in, despite how much he truly loved him. He wasn't ready to get hurt again. Teddy would leave for the army again and that would be that.

"How about I buy you a drink and we can do that paper work together?"

James felt like he was in an entire world of trouble. He couldn't help but nod, because all he'd wanted in those three years was to see Teddy Lupin and here he was, looking even more irresistible. He swallowed, hating that his heart would always beat for his best mate and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Okay, great. I'll see you at our flat?" Teddy asked, as if not expecting an answer before he left with a _crack_. James nervously bit his lip, feeling like he was about to disappoint him. He quickly apparated away back to their flat on the other side of London.

What greeted him was a sight James tried to forget.

Teddy looked like he was full of anguish.

James looked around the dark place, noting that it looked as if nobody had lived in it for a while. The curtains were all closed, and dust lined the marble, bench top. The place looked spotless, which was unusual. James was usually a messy person and Teddy would've picked up on that. There wasn't even any beer cans lining the floor.

"How long?" Teddy asked quietly, as he turned around. His eyes looked sad and his voice sounded hoarse, as if he'd cried a little. James swallowed, "How long what?"

"How long haven't you lived here for?"

"Um, a while," James said, shuffling nervously on his feet. "It was too hard for me to come home to this place every night, without you here," he said, stumbling on his words to explain the situation. Teddy frowned, "I'm sorry. I didn't know my absence would've done that to you."

"Yeah well," James said, struggling to talk. Teddy was making him feel like a complete nervous wreck. All the time he'd spent trying to move on and Teddy was standing there, bringing back all of his feelings. He was very unimpressed with how he instantly felt like a school girl with a crush.

"Your bedroom is completely empty. Where do you live now?"

"Just a flat somewhere in London," James said, shrugging. Teddy nods and it goes silent for a while before he pipes up again, "Do you want to get piss drunk?" He asks and James nods, "Thought you'd never ask."

And so they ended up in a muggle pub in London, getting piss drunk together. Teddy ran into a few 'friends' he vaguely explained were other navy members. James hardly paid attention. He figures Teddy's brown hair was to fit more in with the muggles and it was clearly working. They drank for hours and talked about things. Teddy did most of the talking. James felt as if he couldn't open up to the three years they'd spent apart. Teddy was happy to talk about his time, well, the things he said he was 'legally' allowed to. James had reminded him that he wasn't a muggle and their laws shouldn't apply to either of them, but Teddy had dismissed it with a 'but loyalty is important'. James vaguely wondered if he was still Teddy's best friend.

It was hours later when the two boys stumbled into their old flat at one in the morning, talking loudly about the Qudditch and how much better it was to the muggle football. Somehow, they'd make it into James' old room and Teddy noticed an old photo frame left behind of the two.

"You didn't take it with you," Teddy asked, slurring his words. James shook his head, "Reminded me you weren't around anymore," he said, quickly. Teddy sat on James' old bed, looking up at him. "Well I'm here now," he said, chuckling. "I can see that. You're also very drunk," James commented, laughing. He hadn't laughed like this in so long and it felt good to see the old him come through. Teddy shushed him, "You are too," he said. James nodded, taking a seat beside him. "I guess I am," he said, laughing once more.

That was the moment Teddy did something, James hadn't expected; their lips connected, and the younger boy froze. There was a type of energy when they'd kissed, James had never felt with anyone before. Teddy pulled back quickly, apologising profusely. James hardly heard him as he pushed him back on the bed and kissed him again. James was feeling things he never had. This was the first guy he'd ever be with in that way – and the first time he'd be doing it with Teddy.

It would definitely go down in history as an important moment for James Potter.

The first time he'd made love to the man of his dreams.

And when morning rolled away, he found he was naked and alone in his bed and bitterness overcome his heart once more.

It was Christmas Day and Teddy hadn't even stayed to wish him a Merry Christmas.

There wasn't even a note.

Everything Teddy had brought with him were gone.

 _Screw you, Lupin._


End file.
